


It's Pretty Messed Up

by GiantRoboticPlatypusButt (AngstAndAlliums)



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cannibalism, Gen, Kidnapping, Swearing, Violence, cannibalism mention, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17752133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstAndAlliums/pseuds/GiantRoboticPlatypusButt
Summary: Not too long after arriving at The Island of Lost Dakotas for a second time, Cavendish learns of who everyone on the island refers to as, “Cannibal Dakota,” leaving him to ponder how his kind-hearted friend could ever become a cannibal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Do you want a fic where I take a one-off joke character too seriously and give him a cliched tragic backstory? Well, this is the fic for you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cannibal Dakota escapes his cage and Cavendish meets a couple different versions of his best friend, who promptly decide to show him around once the situation is deemed safe.

“Well, here we are.”

Turning off the engine, Cavendish stepped out of the time vehicle and shut the door, looking around at the nature surrounding him while waiting for Dakota to step out as well.

“Hey, we should have a super secret password so you don’t end up leaving with the wrong Dakota,” Dakota said as he shut his door.

“Would a past version of you really try to sneak off of the island with me?”

“I dunno. Maybe? Better safe than sorry.” Dakota walked around the car to Cavendish.

“Alright. So, what have you thought of for the password?”

“Sorry. You’re the one that’s gotta come up with it.”

“Why me?”

“Because if  _ I _ made it, another me could probably guess it.”

“Can’t you at least try to come up with something? I  _ highly _ doubt you’d be able to guess your own password on the first attempt.”

Dakota stood for a moment, thinking.

“Pizza.”

“That’s dreadful. I’ll just come up with the password myself.” Cavendish gave himself a minute to think.

“Corndogs.”

“Wow. That’s  _ definitely _ way different from my suggestion,” Dakota remarked sarcastically.

“It’s harder coming up with a password than you think!”

“Whatever. ‘Corndogs’ is fine.”

“It’s better than ‘ _ pizza _ ,’ at the very least,” Cavendish mumbled. “Let’s just get going already.”

With that, Dakota and Cavendish began making their way down the dirt path toward the village.

“I still don’t get why you wanted to come back,” Dakota mentioned as looked at the lush wilderness around them. “It’s not like this place would’ve changed much. There’s still gonna be a ton of ‘me’s walking around just going about their day.”

“I’m aware. As I already told you, I just wanted to… check up on all of… you.”

“That’s pretty vague ya know.”

“I’m aware of that too.”

The path began to widen and they could see the large wall getting closer as they continued walking.

“So what’s the real reason then? You just like seeing me in a bunch of different hairstyles?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

By now, one of the Dakotas watching over the main gate saw them approaching. Excitedly, he began opening the gate to let them through, though, not before calling out that Cavendish was back.

“I just… feel like I need the perspective,” he said, watching the gap between the wooden doors open, revealing all the different Dakotas eagerly walking over to greet him. “It becomes… very clear how important I am to you, seeing how much you’ve sacrificed for me.”

One by one, the Dakotas went up to Cavendish and gave him a hug, smiling as Cavendish hugged them back. After a couple dozen or so hugs, Current Dakota spoke up.

“Hey uh, I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, it would probably take you all day to hug every last one of me.”

“I know…” Cavendish sighed, giving out a few last hugs before the remaining Dakotas simply cheerfully waved to him before going about their business.

“So uh,” Dakota continued, “do you just like… not feel appreciated enough? Because I do appreciate having you around.”

“No. It’s more that… I feel I don’t appreciate you enough sometimes…” Cavendish slowly began walking forward, looking around at all the Dakotas. “When we’re working like we normally do, I sometimes forget about all you’ve done for me. I still sometimes think of you as a selfish snack muncher… but you’re not.” Cavendish turned to Dakota with a fond smile. “Being here, seeing how many times you’ve saved my life and gave up yours, it helps me see that in reality, you’re a  _ selfless _ snack muncher.”

Dakota smiled back. “Aww. Thanks, Cav.”

“No need to thank me. I’m simply stating the facts.”

Suddenly, Dakota’s stomach growled, turning his fond smile into a sheepish one. “Another fact; I’m kind of hungry.”

“And this is why I said you were a snack muncher. Seriously, Dakota, you ate chips on the way here.”

“Yeah, and I want something else to eat.”

“How about this, we’ll split up. You can go find something to eat, and I can explore the town a bit. Just give me a call if you need to find me. How does that sound?”

“Sounds pretty good.”

“Remember the password?”

“Yep.”

“Alright. Goodbye for now, then.”

“Later Cav.”

Cavendish watched in amusement as Dakota waves down a couple other Dakotas, probably to ask where he could get a bite to eat, then began walking down the main village path. Every so often, a Dakota would cheerfully wave to him, and he’d wave back. All the Dakotas there really seemed happy to see him…

As Cavendish came to a stop in front of a large building, he considered that he’d have to visit more often. It was obvious that even though there were technically plenty of people on the island, all of them really seemed to miss being around him.

“He escaped!”

Looking around in confusion, Cavendish began to notice some of the Dakotas in his vicinity become a bit uneasy, all their eyes turning to him.

“Erm, is something wrong?” he asked.

“Yeah. Cannibal Dakota escaped again,” a Dakota with long hair and a red shirt said, taking a step forward.

“I’m sorry, did you say, ‘cannibal’ Dakota?”

“Look, there’s no time to sit here and explain. We’ve gotta get you somewhere he can’t find you.”

“How about the Orange Soda storage house?” one of the other Dakotas spoke up.

“Great, we’ll keep him there until Cannibal Dakota is under wraps again.”

With that, the long-haired Dakota gestured to the large building Cavendish happened to be standing by, and the other Dakotas began leading him inside.

“So wait, is that his name? You guys literally refer to him as ‘Cannibal Dakota’?”

“Yeah. We had to call him something, and that name fits him most,” the long-haired, red shirt wearing Dakota said. “I’m Fist Bump Dakota by the way,” he continued, offering Cavendish a fist bump.

Cavendish awkwardly returned the fist bump. “So uh,” he began uneasily, “one of you has become a cannibal?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty messed up,” Fist Bump Dakota said, closing and beginning to bar the large double doors behind Cavendish.

“Has he eaten anyone?”

“Not yet. He has bitten people before, though. And he talks about wanting to eat people all the time.” With the heavy, wooden bar securely keeping the door from opening, Fist Bump Dakota took a step away and gave more of his attention to Cavendish.

“And he escaped? Escaped what? Is there a prison here?”

“We sort of keep him in a cage when he’s not being escorted around. He escapes sometimes though since he sort of knows how to escape a cage another copy of himself makes.”

Cavendish looked around him in frustration. “I don’t understand. Why is he so different from all of you? Dakota told-  _ a _ Dakota told me that he sends the past version of himself back so he knows how to prevent me from dying!”

“That’s usually what happens, but sometimes there are uh, special cases…”

“Special cases?”

“Yeah. Like, sometimes what happens to you is so bad that the one who knows what happens just warns the past Dakota so he can save you, then sends himself here instead. It makes it so more of us don’t end up traumatized or something.”

Cavendish spent a moment think about it. “Is that what you think happened to Cannibal Dakota?”

“It’s the best guess we’ve got.” Fist Bump Dakota paused, collecting his thoughts. “We think he’s the Dakota that went with you on a mission to Mt. Shiversnap since a bunch of us remember being told to be back down the mountain by five. I got here before that, so I don’t remember it myself.”

“I remember,” a shirtless Dakota with short hair spoke up, grabbing Cavendish’s attention. “He stopped me just before we started heading up the mountain. Literally, all he said was, ‘get back down here by five.’ And when I asked him what happened, he just walked away. Not even a handshake or a wave goodbye!” He crossed his arms, his expression uneasy. “I had a feeling you were going to die up there, but whatever killed you must have really messed him up.”

All of the Dakotas in the immediate area nodded.

“Well, since I’m stuck in here until the ‘Cannibal Dakota’ situation is taken care of, I’ve been meaning to ask,” he turned to Fist Bump Dakota, “Why are all of you different from each other? Sometimes drastically so. You’re all the same person.”

“Eh…  _ Technically _ , we are, but  _ practically _ we’re different people. Some of us got here at different times under slightly different circumstances, so we’re all at least a little different from each other.”

“That still doesn’t explain why some of you have created your own little persona, emphasizing a particular thing.”

“Oh, that.” Fist Bump Dakota chuckled. “It’s a fun way of telling each other apart without, you know, asking how their timeline’s Cavendish died. Instead of ‘Cav died from lava Dakota’, he’s ‘Silly Hat Dakota’. Instead of ‘Cav got hit by a train Dakota’, I’m ‘Fist Bump Dakota’. It’s a lot less depressing than being named after the thing that sent you here.”

Cavendish paused, shuddering as he thought about it. “That  _ is _ a lot less depressing.”

“Yeah. And it gives us a chance to explore things that we wouldn’t have otherwise, or even learn something new about ourselves. Also, it’s  _ really _ funny.”

Suddenly, Cavendish and the Dakotas could hear the sounds of metal scraping on the wooden doors.

“C’mon! I’m hungry!”

Cavendish took a few steps back away from the door. “I hope  _ that _ isn’t a part of yourselves,” he said in unease.

“It’s not… probably. Again, we think he just got really messed up or something.”

There was a loud thud at the door.

“Have any of you tried figuring out what’s wrong with him?”

A Dakota in an orange shirt with short hair cut in. “He doesn’t talk about much besides cannibalism. All we know is that he gave us a warning on how to save you and then came here.”

“That seems much more… stable… than how he’s acting now.”

“We know. None of us expected him to start trying to eat people.”

Sounds of scraping eating utensils could still be heard from outside.

“Are we just going to wait here until he leaves?”

“We have a few Dakotas in charge of keeping him under control. They should be here pretty soon.”

Suddenly, the scraping stopped. A moment later, they all heard a few knocks.

“We captured Cannibal Dakota. It’s safe to come out now.”

The orange-shirted Dakota wearing a leaf skirt walked over to the door, a distrusting look in his eyes. “Oh yeah? Then what’s the password?”

A pause.

“Pizza.”

“Nice try, Cannibal Dakota.”

“How’s that not the password?!”

“Because it’s decided at random. Obviously, none of us would make it up.”

“That’s not fair! I’m hungry-yeEEE!” Cannibal Dakota yelped, and a struggle including the voices of multiple Dakotas could be heard from outside.

“Well, it seems like Cannibal Dakota is gonna be captured soon.” The orange-shirted Dakota turned to Cavendish. “I’m Chief Dakota by the way.”

“‘Chief’? So, you run this village?”

“Yeah. Kinda. I’m in charge of showing new Dakotas around and keeping track of our exports and imports.”

They turned their heads when they heart a shout from outside.

“Hey! Ow!”

Chief Dakota cleared his throat awkwardly. “Speaking of showing people around, how about I show you the shoe factory after Cannibal Dakota is under control again?”

There was another shout from outside.

“Let go of me!”

Cavendish looked to Chief Dakota, trying to get his mind off the fight happening outside. “That sounds like a fun idea. Why not?”

A short moment later, and the sounds of struggling stopped.

There were a couple knocks at the door, then two Dakotas spoke in unison. “Duck shaped rock.”

Chief Dakota got to work unbarring the door.

“Duck shaped rock?” Cavendish questioned with a raised brow.

Fist Bump Dakota chuckled. “Oh yeah. Like Chief mentioned before, the passwords are random. First, what we do is blindfold Cowboy Dakota, then we-”

The door bar was tossed aside with a large thud, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ll tell you on the way to the shoe factory.”

“You’re gonna love it,” Chief Dakota said, ushering Cavendish outside. “We couldn’t get the aglets right, so we just make Slip Ons. I’d say they look pretty good, though.”

They began walking past Cannibal Dakota, who was tied with ropes and under guard by two other Dakotas. When Cavendish got a good view of him, he felt his stomach twist in a knot. He looked… unhinged. His hair was everywhere, his torn shirt and blue neckerchief were covered in stains, and his eyes… They looked, wide and crazed.

But then, they were on him, and Cavendish froze in his tracks.

“Cavendish?” Suddenly his expression shifted. His once fierce eyes went soft and hopeful. His jaw hung loosely open. “Is that…” his voice cracked, “is that really you?”

“Ummm…”

“Just ignore him,” Fist Bump Dakota said, placing his arm around Cavendish’s shoulders and nudging him away. “He’s probably trying to trick you into coming closer so he can take a bite out of you.”

Tears filled Cannibal Dakota’s eyes. “Cav! Wait! Please!” he choked out. “Don’t leave me!”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me,” Chief Dakota said, shooting Cannibal Dakota a venomous glare. “Cannibal Dakota just wants to eat you.”

“NO! COME BACK! CAVENDISH!” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he struggled against the ropes restricting him. “DON’T GO!  _ PLEASE! _ ”

The twisting feeling in Cavendish’s gut was now more from sympathy than unease. He had never seen Dakota act this… distraught. It didn’t seem right, leaving him behind, but… Cavendish continued to be led away, so it didn’t really matter anymore.

The Dakotas continued bringing him to the shoe factory, with Fist Bump Dakota talking about how they choose the passwords and Chief Dakota chuckling at some of the stories. Cavendish wasn’t really focused on what they were saying, though, as he couldn’t get Cannibal Dakota’s cries for him to stay out of his mind.

Soon enough, Chief Dakota parted ways with Cavendish and Fist Bump Dakota as they arrived at the shoe factory. Cavendish tried to stop thinking about the whole Cannibal Dakota thing, but even as he was given the tour of the quaint “factory” by Cobbler Dakota with frequent comments from Fist Bump Dakota who took the tour alongside him, he couldn’t get Cannibal Dakota’s cries out of his mind.

The tour ended, and Cavendish was met with a familiar face coming into the factory entrance. Though, that wasn’t too hard considering everyone besides himself on the island had nearly identical faces. But this face happened to perfectly match the one of his current Dakota.

“Hey! Did you have fun without me?”

Cavendish couldn’t be too sure that he was speaking to right Dakota. “Are you my Dakota? The one who came here with me?”

“Oh, yeah. One sec.” Stepping forward, Dakota whispered the password to Cavendish, making sure it didn’t reach the ears of Fist Bump Dakota, who was standing nearby.

“Alright. And the answer to your question is no. Are you aware that there’s a cannibal version of you here?”

“Yeah, heard he escaped or something too. It’s pretty messed up.”

“It is.”

“It’s kinda weird thinking I could somehow turn out like that. People definitely aren’t a favorite food of mine.”

“Yes… It’s not like you at all…” Cavendish trailed off, slipping into his own thoughts again.

“I wonder why he’s like that? Something must’ve happened to make him suddenly crave human flesh.”

Fist Bump Dakota stepped toward him. “All of us think whatever killed his Cavendish screwed with him pretty bad.”

“Must have been really bad to make him like this.”

“Whatever it was, he sent himself here, so he obviously didn’t want future Dakotas to know about it.”

“At least he was sane enough to do that. I’d rather not randomly want to eat people.”

Cavendish stomped his foot. “It’s not like you at all!”

Both Dakotas turned to him. Fist Bump Dakota spoke up.

“We know.”

“Maybe he isn’t a cannibal? You said he didn’t eat anyone.”

“Yet,” he stated firmly.

“Do you seriously think you could ever become a cannibal?”

“He’s bitten a few of us! He made Cool Vest Dakota Bleed!”

“Maybe if you just talked to him about it he’d stop?”

“You think we haven’t tried that?! He may be completely messed up, but he’s still a version of us. He knows what we have to say, so talking just doesn’t work!”

Cavendish let out a whine, crossing his arms and looking away.

Current Dakota stepped over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s just one me that’s acting all weird. Just, don’t worry about it, alright?”

With a sigh, Cavendish lowered his gaze to the floor dejectedly. “Alright…”

After giving his shoulder a few pats, Dakota stepped away and turned his attention to Fist Bump Dakota.

“There  _ is _ only one weird me on the island, right?”

“Eh, there are a couple other Dakotas that aren’t that great, but not to the level of Cannibal Dakota.”

Cavendish decided he wanted a little fresh air, stepping over to the entrance where the door was propped wide open with a wooden wedge. He leaned on the doorframe, half in his thoughts and half listening to the conversion close by.

“There’s Really Smelly Dakota, who for some reason thinks it’s okay to not take a shower every once in a while, he’s not fun to have at parties, and then there’s Birthday-Suit Dakota.”

Dakota chuckled. “Really?”

By now, Cavendish was completely zoned out, his eyes technically on the Dakotas ahead of him but thoughts locked on how the situation didn’t make any sense. Dakota was, Dakota! Sure he was always hungry, but not for people! He would never willingly eat another person, let alone have a craving for human flesh!”

“I mean, it’s not so bad since obviously, it’s not like we’re seeing anything new, but what if someone else comes to the island- what if Cavendish sees him!?”

“Oh geez! Please tell me you guys keep track of him!”

“Everyone knows he’s here now, so I’m gonna guess we’d give a warning if he was nearby.”

Plus, Cannibal Dakota had the foresight to come to the island himself so he could spare his future selves from what he knew. It just didn’t sound like something that someone with violent tendencies would do. It sounded like a very considerate thing to do, even if it would technically only help himself. So why is he trying to eat people? Specifically the people he went out of his way to save? None of it made any sense!

Suddenly, a hand covered Cavendish’s mouth and he was dragged out of the doorway in seconds, not even a chance to cry for help before he was out of sight.

“You’ve been kinda quiet Cav. Look, if you’re still upset about-”

Once Dakota turned to see Cavendish and saw he wasn’t there, he looked to Fist Bump Dakota with worry.

“Uh, did you see where he went?”

“No, I saw him leaning against the doorway but that was it. I’ve mostly been looking at you.”

“Well one of us must have seen where he went.”

Fist Bump Dakota went to the doorway, stepping out and looking around for any signs of Cavendish. The other Dakota followed, keeping his eyes peeled as well.

“Cannibal Dakota escaped again!” they suddenly heard from a Dakota in a pirate costume, who jogged around yelling the same message to other Dakotas.

Dakota turned to Fist Bump Dakota with a look of terror.

“You don’t think…”

“We both know we’re thinking it.”

Fist Bump Dakota took off into a direction frantically searching for Cavendish, while Dakota felt his gut twist in knots as he tried thinking of what to do.

What he decided to do, was take off in a random direction and frantically search for Cavendish. What else could he do? He didn’t know the layout of the island and for all he knew, Cavendish was a half-eaten corpse by now. All Dakota could do was hope he was fine and look for him. And hopefully, he could find him in time.

He ran a bit faster.

“CAVENDISH!”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cavendish feels absolutely terrified as he’s dragged away from the safety of the village The fact that the island was filled with Dakotas precisely because they failed to save him before definitely doesn’t give him much hope for being rescued.

Cavendish struggled against the assailant as he was dragged further and further away from his friend. He tried letting loose punches against the body behind him, but a strong arm held his own arms in place, making the attempts futile. Screaming wasn’t an option as well, as a gross smelly hand was covering his mouth. Kicking was his best bet, so he did his best to drive his heels into the kidnapper's shins.

With one hard jab, Cavendish heard a scream in a familiar voice and the grip on him was loosened. He immediately took the opportunity to force himself away, getting as far as a few feet before he was tackled to the ground.

Before he could let out a call for help, there was a sock shoved in his mouth that was promptly tied against his head with a blue fabric of some kind. As if it couldn’t get any worse, Cavendish felt his arms being yanked behind his back. After a minute of struggle, Cavendish was defeated and the kidnapper had his wrists tied together. With Cavendish restrained, the man hoisted him onto his feet and began shoving him away from the village.

Heart pounding, sweat beading down his face, body shaking, Cavendish knew that he was about to die. He knew who was taking him away, he knew he was about to be eaten, he knew his death was going to be especially painful.

His eyes welled up with tears, and he let out fearful sobs that were muffled against the sock in his mouth. It was useless. His efforts to escape were doing nothing. Cannibal Dakota was going to eat him and there was nothing he could do except hope another Dakota would save him before he died. Though, considering all the Dakotas on the island were there  _because_  they couldn’t save him in time, Cavendish was terrified of the odds of that happening.

They were now outside of the village walls and moving into the dense jungle. Leaves brushed against Cavendish’s legs as well as a few small branches. The trees were so thick with foliage that only enough light to make it barely visible pierced through the cracks in the green. Cavendish heard his phone ring for a while, but it wasn’t like he could answer it while being held captive and led somewhere. The fact Cannibal Dakota clearly knew where he was going definitely made the odds of being rescued even more horrifying.

Finally, they came to a small clearing in the woods, where Cavendish was promptly forced to sit on a fallen log. Had Cavendish not been fearing for his life, he would have been disgusted by how unsanitary it was to sit there.

Not even a second had passed for Cavendish to escape before Cannibal Dakota got to work retraining his legs with what appeared to be vines. He worked fast, as Cavendish only got a few kicks in before he could no longer move his legs. Fully restrained, Cavendish watched as Cannibal Dakota crouched in front of him and looked him up and down.  _Assessing where he should take the first bite,_  Cavendish assumed fearfully.

Tears streamed down his face, soaking into what Cavendish now knew was the blue neckerchief that Cannibal Dakota currently wasn’t wearing. Again, he’d find it disgusting if he wasn’t fearful for his life. To his horror, Cannibal Dakota started reaching toward his face, his immediate response being to pull away. He didn’t get far, the back of his head nudging against Cannibal Dakota’s hands.

Cannibal Dakota’s face was so close. Cavendish could see the wild look in his eyes, the way his hair had strands sticking out in many directions, the disgusting trail of drool congealing down the side of his mouth. Not only that, but Cannibal Dakota smelled foul, like fermented sweat and years of built-up grime. His trembling got worse, and tears poured down his face.

Cavendish flinched and shut his eyes as Cannibal Dakota moved slightly, his thumbs swiping across his cheeks, wiping away his tears. When he opened his eyes, Cannibal Dakota had tears running down his face as well.

“It’s… It’s really you.” He sniffed, rubbing his nose on his arm. “You’re really Cavendish. I… I thought I’d never see you again.”

Cannibal Dakota’s hands went behind Cavendish’s head, and then the neckerchief was undone. After that, he pulled the sock out of his mouth. Cavendish took in a large breath of fresh air, then let it out as a loud sob.

“Let me go!  _Please!_ ”

“ _No!_  I don’t want to lose you again!”

Cavendish whined, then screamed, “somebody! Help!  _Help me!_ ” causing Cannibal Dakota to cover his ears with a wince and step back.

“That won’t work,” he groaned. “The jungle is too thick this far out for anyone to hear you back in the village.”

More tears streamed down Cavendish’s face. He let out a few more sobs.

“Please,” he croaked. “Don’t eat me! I’m- I’m sure I taste terrible!”

Cannibal Dakota recoiled, a disgusted look on his face. “I… I know you do…”

A chill ran down Cavendish’s spine, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

“You… You ATE ME?!”

Cannibal Dakota began shaking, his breaths turned into harsh sobs. Soon, he sat on the ground and brought his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth.

“I swear I didn’t want to! I was so hungry, and if I didn’t live, then I couldn’t go back to save you!” Cannibal Dakota suddenly groaned and pulled his hair. “N-No! No. There, there had to be some other way out. There had to! I just…” Tears continued to fall down his cheeks, some being wiped off on his knees. “I-I was tired, and so cold despite the fire. You were starving even though I managed to save some of my rations for you. But…”

Cavendish managed to relax a little as Cannibal Dakota continued talking. He watched uneasily as Cannibal Dakota hugged his knees.

“You were, you were still dying. You were in so much pain and I was so hungry… A-And I didn’t know when the snow storm would stop. Or if anyone would even look for us…”

Cannibal Dakota let himself breathe for a moment, wiping his eyes and nose on his shirt. Cavendish finally wasn’t so fearful of his life that he couldn’t find it disgusting.

“I-I… I made your death as painless as I could… B-But I still felt… I still  _feel_  horrible about it… And then… then…” Cannibal Dakota whined, then screamed in anguish. “I ate my best friend! I’m a fucking monster!” His sobs worsened, and he buried his face in his knees.

Gut twisting in sympathy, Cavendish spoke calmly, even though he didn’t really know what to say.

“Dakota, it’s… it’s okay.”

“No it’s fucking not!”

He decided to keep his mouth shut until he knew what to say. Empty platitudes and vague reassurances sure didn’t seem appropriate considering the subject matter.

“I’m so sorry Cavendish. I just- I just wanted to see you again. And maybe give you a hug. I thought I would never see you again. Th-That the last time I’d ever get to see you, was when I…” His voice cracked, so he took a stuttered breath before continuing. “But, I don’t really deserve to talk to you, do I? I finally see you again and what do I do? I fucking kidnap you and force you to listen to me. I… I really am a monster… I just make things worse and eat innocent people.”

“You only ate one person. And that person was me, and only because you had to. Then you saved me afterward. I wouldn’t call you a monster for that.”

“But, but I still tried eating other people.”

“You did?”

“The other Dakotas.”

“You really wanted to eat them?”

“N… I mean… Yes! That… that’s who I am…”

“And why do you think that?”

“Because… because that’s the kind of person who would eat his best friend...”

Cavendish sighed.

“I think you would never go through with eating another person, Dakota. You got desperate once, and have regretted it since.” Cavendish carefully tried standing, soon hopping over and falling onto his knees in front of Cannibal Dakota. That was close enough to what he wanted, he supposed. “Even if you think you’re a monster, I know you’re not. You’ve sacrificed so much to keep me alive… and did something you normally wouldn’t so I would live another day.”

Cannibal Dakota’s sobs lessened, but he still had his head between his knees. A soft “hey,” from Cavendish got him to look up.

“I can’t possibly imagine how terrible you feel, but that one experience doesn’t have to define who you are. You’re not a monster. You’re Dakota. My best friend. And you deserve to be happy.”

Letting out a small sniff, and then a sob, Cannibal Dakota wrapped his arms around Cavendish and held him tight, crying into his shoulder.

“Ahem, um, if you don’t mind… could you possibly untie me so I may better console you?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, one second…”

Cannibal Dakota freed Cavendish’s hands first, throwing aside the vine he apparently bound his wrists with. Next, Cavendish sat back while Cannibal Dakota untied his ankles. As soon as he was freed, Cavendish hugged Cannibal Dakota and patted his back. Their tense postures soon faded, and they relaxed into the embrace.

“Thanks for being such a good friend, Cavendish.”

“And thank you. I could never imagine a better friend than you, Dakota.”

Not long into the embrace, Cavendish noticed movement in the dense brush around them. It appeared that they were being watched.

“Hello? Other Dakotas?” he asked as he and Cannibal Dakota stood up.

Sure enough, another Dakota stepped into the clearing, followed by another one, Chief Dakota, and what appeared to be the current Dakota.

“What are you doing?!” Chief Dakota shouted. “Don’t you know that’s Cannibal Dakota?!”

“Well, yes but-”

“‘But’ nothing!” a different Dakota replied. “He’s literally a cannibal!”

“No, he’s not!”

“He bit people!” another Dakota added.

“He won’t anymore!”

“He’s dangerous!” Chief Dakota screamed.

“Are you?!” Cavendish retorted.

All the Dakotas paused. A few more came out of the clearing, including the two Cavendish recognized as the team responsible for getting Cannibal Dakota back in his cage. Finally, Chief Dakota spoke up.

“He’s not the same as us.”

“Yes, he is… mostly. He has… a traumatic memory you all do not share with him, but other than that, he’s still a Dakota.”

Chief Dakota stepped closer. “Do you… know what happened to him?”

“Yes, but… that story is for him to tell, not me.”

“Why not? Is it that bad?”

Cannibal Dakota spoke up softly. “Yeah. It’s pretty messed up.”

The other Dakotas nodded amongst themselves while Chief Dakota simply sighed in defeat.

“Alright. I believe ya. But we’re keeping an eye on him though.”

“That’s fair,” Cannibal Dakota replied. “And uh, you may not wanna hear this, but I am pretty hungry. You got anything to eat on this island?”

Chief Dakota rolled his eyes, hiding a smile. “We’ll find you something to eat. Come with us.”

“Actually, one second.” Cannibal Dakota turned to Cavendish. “Uh, Cavendish, thanks again. What you said to me… it really means a lot.”

“It was my pleasure, Dakota. And, when you get the chance, maybe you should consider coming up with a better name for yourself. ‘Cannibal Dakota’ is a tad depressing.”

“Don’t worry. I was already planning on it.” Cannibal Dakota glanced at Chief Dakota, who was waving him over. “Well, later Cavendish. Visit again soon.”

“I will.”

With that, Cannibal Dakota began heading back to the village along with the majority of the Dakotas that gathered around the clearing.

“Well, it seems like it’s been an eventful day for you,” said what Cavendish could only assume was Current Dakota. “I bet you’re pretty tired. You ready to go home?”

“I think I am. Being kidnapped before discovering the secret tragic backstory of a copy of my best friend is very tiring.”

“Okay. I’ll drive then. You can relax on the way home.”

“Alright.”

Cavendish took a few steps with Current Dakota before something felt off.

“Wait… what’s the password?”

The Dakota gave a sheepish smile. “Uh… Pizza?” he said innocently.

“Ahem,” another Dakota said as he tapped Cavendish’s shoulder. He then leaned toward his ear and whispered the correct password.

Cavendish turned to the imposter and crossed his arms with a smirk. “Trying to replace your current self, are you?”

“Uh… no?”

“Come on trickster Dakota!” a Dakotas voice called through the bushes.

“Aw man,” Trickster Dakota replied, walking back to the village in defeat. “I swear I would have told him it was a prank before he could leave with me…”

The real Current Dakota turned to Cavendish with a proud grin. “See, that’s why I made you come up with the password.”

“I have to admit, that just saved us a lot of trouble.”

“Yeah! Like, imagine if we didn’t have a password. Me and Trickster Dakota would have been standing next to each other like people do in the movies. Only instead of an evil robot or an evil clone, it’s a copy of me that exists because I went back in time to save you.”

“I… suppose that could have happened.”

“And then, in order to figure out who’s the real Dakota, you’d ask things only the real Dakota would know. Which, I guess would be related to anything that most recently happened.”

“I get it, Dakota.”

“This is important stuff to know, Cavendish. It’s not like we haven’t dealt with shapeshifters and copies of me before. I mean, look at what just happened!”

“Can we go home now?!”

“Oh yeah. Sure.”

They began heading back to the village where they’d then head back to the time vehicle.

“So, how’d you know he wasn’t as bad as we all thought?”

“Because I know you, Dakota. I know you wouldn’t just up and decide to start eating people.” Cavendish then looked to Dakota with a smile. “And I know you’re a good person at heart, and you’d never hurt an innocent person.”

Dakota smiled back. “Aw. Thanks. And, thanks for being a good friend.”

“And thank you. Visiting this place again really did help solidify how much you do for me. You are truly a better friend and partner than I could ever conceive of having.”

“Ah jeez, Cav. You’re gonna make me blush.”

They continued walking back, chatting happily along the way. Though, when they were passing through the village, they suddenly heard a Dakota shouting from nearby.

“Heads up! Birthday Suit Dakota Incoming!”

Cavendish raised a brow. “Wha-”

“Oh crap! Cavendish! Cover your eyes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!


End file.
